When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Dont worry, said the doc. What did the dog say when it sat on some sandpaper? As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. A Master Baiter. Whether you want to receive further information on something or want to ask a question or maybe have a suggestion for us to improve content on this website, or probably you wish to report a . Get ready to laugh, hard. It lightens the weights we carry in life, uplifts our moods, and bonds us to those we share in it with. Kid: who asked? I like waiters, they bring a lot to the table. 12 / 102. How do you make holy water? Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. I'll meet you at the corner. Spit, swallow, gargle. Pirate Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. I don't think you should be happy. 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love. This often diffuses the situation and shows that you are not bothered by the insult. It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. The infantry. How do you stop a bull from charging? Why is being in the military like a blow-job? What did prehistoric animals get instead of blisters? Fssh. * No, but this is more stupid than anything I might have said. No, you did not, but everyone makes mistakes. What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. Check the 2nd part of "Funny, Stupid & Hilarious Jokes" . Once you open it, you realize its half-empty. When did I ask - slang Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. Who Asked, Nobody Asked, and That's Crazy, But I Don't Remember Asking are expressions used to indicate a lack of interest in what another person has said or posted, similar to Cool Story, Bro. Your mom sure seemed to care last night. well, almost never! What did the left eye say to the right eye? Every 'Who asked' copypasta. Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? How did you quit smoking? This response is funny because it allows you to really make the question asker seem stupid and you much smarter than them. 5. How did the hipster burn his mouth? Why did the chicken cross the road? The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. and our Here's your ultimate list of 100 plus why jokes and puns that is sure to tickle your ribs. To get to the other side. On June 15th, 2011, Neogaf [5] user Dizzy-4U used the line as a humorous response in a thread. History is usually no laughing matter, but sometimes we can't help but LOL at modern interpretations of the past. What's the best smelling insect? What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? This one works because it both acknowledges that you werent asked and draws focus to the fact that you actually did contribute helpful information to the conversation. Making love to a woman is like playing the violin. 1. (stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). Whos there? Here's a list of 55 . .css-g0owdm{display:block;font-family:Memphis,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-g0owdm:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 61.25rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}Tom Selleck Reunites with Former Co-Star, 21 Shows to Watch If You Like Yellowstone, 'WoF' Fans Say This Is the Biggest Choke on Show, St. Patricks Day Trivia Questions and Answers, Adam Sandler's Wife Jackie Shuts Down Red Carpet, The Reason Hoda Kotb Hasnt Been on the Today Show, Kelsea Ballerini Fans Lose It Amid Career News, The True History Behind St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day Movies to Feel Extra Lucky. The man. The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. Ivana fuck your brains out. Dress her up as an altar boy. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? (Walk. 14. Bison. I love jokes about eyes, the cornea the better. We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. Officials have announced that these frequently used products could result in infection. Well-armed. Get out of here! shouts the bartender. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #whendidiask, #whendidweask . Hey! One looks at the other and says, You know how to drive this thing?!. Share I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. What does a pig put on dry skin? Whats a adult actress favorite drink? Its To Whom. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? Kid 1: Hey, I bet youre still a virgin., When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper You did this.. What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? If they ask, "Who asked?" (Think trolls) I had to put my foot down. The bear shrugged. In cases like this, we need some clever comebacks to put them in their place. Whats the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? There's no menuyou get what you deserve. You planet. Between you and me, something smells. Theyre used to eating nuts. Whos there? Whats the best part about gardening? Your wife will always blow your bonus! The difference between kinky and perverted is the difference between using a feather, and using the rest of the bird. What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball? 45. How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? Beano Jokes Team. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Become the master of pun by memorizing some of these why jokes. The bartender asks, "Dry?". 3. You could read it as seriously or as a joke didnt walk into the bar. If this made you roll your eyes, just wait until you read some of these dad jokes. Keep up with Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and melanieberliet.com. A happy uncle. Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? Sucka dick and let me in. A slipper. "Close the door, I'm dressing!". He didn't have the guts to ask anyone. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Ok. (and then continuing usually does the trick). It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. What's Forrest Gump's email password? What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A cocker-poodle boo. From super-simple toddler and kindergarten jokes to riddles for older kids, here are 50 funny, easy jokes for kids. A cherry float. Youre dead if the rubber breaks. In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. person one: I went out to dinner with my family . Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. If a man talks dirty to a woman, thats sexual harassment. What's black and white and goes round and round? Because they're really good at it. He was deadlifting. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind. Did your parents ask for you? What did the man give his fianc, a card enthusiast, when he wanted to propose to her? Whats long, hard and erects stuff? Well, they're not laughing now! Whats the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Because he had a great fall. Your mind might want to dance, but your body is a really awkward white guy. I failed math so many times at school, I can't even . Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. Im not sure; I was born with them.. By the bark. 4. Low flying airplane noises! Well, I am 100% sure you did. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); Once a girl looked at me and shouted loudly, I don't want to sit next to her! Did you fall from heaven? Totally shocked. Why did God give men penises? What did the banana say to the vibrator? Click here to learn more! if you were actually the one being rude and butted into a conversation you were not a part of, a clever or funny response is not appropriate and it would be best to say nothing and simply step away. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" Some are dead. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Red paint. While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no one wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, especially if its one of the, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), why did the chicken cross the road? jokes, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. As you can see, there are plenty of comebacks for who asked, nobody cares, etc. Catch up! They always take things literally. A pouch potato. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. This response is very clever because it makes it very clear that you contributed helpful information. Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. There's a new alarming warning about this popular dog food brand. What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? The dont meet the koalafications. It was two tired. Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? Knock Knock! He's all right now. 137 of the Best Jokes for Kids. We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock-knock jokes, and even some moments of pure stand-up comedy. You boil the hell out of it. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? Explanation: Kleptomaniacs (people with the impulse to steal) take things literally because they literally take things. Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. . READ THIS NEXT:80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Ivana who? Is it in?. Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? Its a way of shutting down a conversation, of refusing to engage with new ideas. Dont worryweve explained each one, so you can still wow em with your humor and smarts. How does a squid go into battle? They both have an ability to misfire. A funny response can be to pretend to not understand the question. All while making the question asker look dumb. Between you and me, something smells. You guys didn't like it. A deodor-ant. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. "Are you gay?". ", What did the swordfish say to the marlin? I don't know, and I don't care. person two: where? What did the grape do when it was sat on? How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? Dont forget to bookmark these other whats the difference between jokes that will crack you up. 3. Men are like public toilets the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap. They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. Some are dead. GetReaders DigestsRead Up newsletterfor more humor, cleaning, travel, tech and fun facts all week long. Where does Batman go to the bathroom? Whats the difference between attraction, love and showing off? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Close the door, I'm dressing. It can be frustrating, and its often a difficult comeback to come up with. A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. What do you call a bear without any teeth? Well-armed. "Dill me in!". But we both know that's not why you're here So, another option is to fire back with your own insult. Unless youre just fed up with these types of comments and want to be rude. By Sergios Rotar 22. 20. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. The bartender shows them the door and says, Sorry, we dont serve minors.. "no one asked" As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" 0 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BriannaPlayz: Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons!