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Youre nuts! The taste, mostly. Someone glued my deck of cards together. 140. 54. 111. Why did the piano teacher need a ladder? After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity! Neptunes. 56. Hour you doing? Blew. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.This must be a mistake, the man says. It's a knight light. An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. I think Im going to go to college.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Because it scares their dogs. A brick. 220. 109. Is Google male or female? Why did the M&M go to school? 101. The drumstick. What type of flower should you not give on Valentines Day? ", The historians had gathered for a party in Cairo after they had discovered a new mummy. Why did the ghost go to rehab? When it is ajar. One day Max went to see Carl. Watch while I prove it to you. The farmer told him that he wished he were very rich. How would you rate the quality of the article? Why did the clown always choose the red balloon? Even the cake was in tiers. What is the opposite of a croissant? 10,000 soles were lost. Then two years ago, you told me to go to Mexico, and Earlene got pregnant again. A chili dog. 194. 126. His wife was standing nearby watching him. He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay? Everything else is irrelephant. A bulldozer. Why should you knock on the refrigerator before opening the door? What do planets sing in a choir? 123. After a few drinks they start talking about their wives. After an hour he loses his patience and yells, "Putin is to blame for this I'm going to the Kremlin and I will get rid of him!". Which bus never drove on any street? Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish. The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops. How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? 119. You mustang out with me. What doesnt get any wetter no matter how much it rains? Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance. 300. Where do pirates get their hooks? Q: Who's there? "Beat it. "The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Mother's Day. Because it had so many problems. 290. The bartender says, We dont serve your type.. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? It's groundbreaking. Why did the witches team lose the baseball game? But don't worry, by the time you find it, we're sure you'll be cracking up. Upon rubbing the lamp, a Genie appeared and asked him what his wish was. 130. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. Which superhero hits home runs? They always take things literally. A year later, theres another knock at the door. At the North Pole. Disgusted by the fact, all of us complained immediately. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "The soup is cold. "Nervous, the kid asks, "How long do I have to go to school for? We didn't really give it much thought until my brother really started eating his homework for dinner. It's got a rattle. With a dino-saw. Do you know why the other one didnt? To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Q: Con A: Okay, now you say, "Control Freak who?" Here are more knock knock jokes that are genuinely funny! Why do sharks live in salt water? How did the blonde die ice fishing? 161. Nobody knows. 223. They are worth a good eye roll from them! The Best Funny Dreadlock Jokes | Funniest Jokes Topics Dad Jokes Dark Humour Memes Top Jokes Make your own meme Topics Dreadlock Jokes Related Posts Grape Jokes Family Jokes Taco Jokes Leave a Reply You must be logged in to post a comment. Dinner's on me. The neighbour says, "Well actually the seat belongs to me. The man asked the barber to give his son a haircut while he shopped for groceries nearby. Which month do trees dislike? Redneck cousin explained that was the cool adult word that everyone was using. A Mars bar. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. Then why not share them with your friends? What is the difference between a teacher and a train? 38. Mother of six, the redneck would say, whats for dinner tonight? When the father asked the boy after dinner why he had asked such a question, he replied, "Papa, I think worms taste okay because there was one in your noodles. ", A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls. As the policeman approaches the truck, the truckdriver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on? Let's be honest - dirty jokes can be a hit or a miss. How does NASA organize a party? To make things worse, he had to wait another hour in a line outside the tuxedo shop. Error occurred when generating embed. 144. "God said yes.The guy said, "God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny? 21 What are the only two seasons a Redneck can name? Ten tickles 22. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. It's too far to walk. The signature of a dad joke is that it's utterly uncool. 170. 167. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Apparently, the snowmen want more sugar than corn flakes can provide. Goodbye, 2022. Well except the kids, right? 122. What happened when the computer fell on the floor? Im really good at sleeping. A parrot. The mummy said, "Please don't play jazz because my trom-bones are in a very bad shape. I would have thought that it was very weird had I not realized that it was the singer Adele. 181. Who eats snails? 155. 134. The redneck cousin said OW MOTHERF***ER GET OFF MY FINGER!. Address! Because they were pop-ular. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? These (clean) knock-knock jokes, puns, one-liners and gags will get them laughing. One redneck looks to the other and says: Man, I sure wish I could do that. The other redneck says: Maybe if you pet him first.. You spend so much time on the course. A gummy bear. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? A climber fell off a cliff, and, as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch. The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says, "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive". What do you call a woman with one leg? Cliff. Someone glued my deck of cards together. He eventually makes his way over to the bear.The bear immediately tells him, "You look exhausted. 150. Put it on my bill.. 143. Apparently, you cant use beef stew as a password. A gummy bear. That way they can both watch wrestling. Why did the painting go to jail? They have anty-bodies. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? ", A family was having dinner once when the youngest boy asked his father whether worms tasted nice when we eat them. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. What kind of fishing bait do librarians use? He couldnt see himself doing it. Why did the can crusher quit his job? A teddy bear sits down at a restaurant. How do ice hockey players stay cool? ", This is a really bad adaptation of the proper joke, which stars a moth. 286. "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up", said the sarcastic teacher. Why are ghosts good cheerleaders? When the food critic says no, the owner decides to taste the soup himself but he can't find the spoon. Is it mine or the machines?". 210. "The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there? 127. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. You're the father of twins. I don't know how to deal with it. They're on the house! Because the P is silent! 190. Two redneck farmers are leaning over a farm gate when gorgeous girl pulls up in her Mercedes. They have a lot of fans. Sorry, Im still working on it. 232. Batman! Add spring water. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? ""Yes," sighs the husband. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? What does a house wear? I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it. Also, the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend. It was a tyrannosaurus wrecks. The next morning Dad is making breakfast and the first little boy drifts into the kitchen. When do computers overheat? The librarian politely told him that he was in a library. A garbage truck. Whats the stinkiest planet? A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning. A cocker-poodle boo. You look drunk. Where do learn how to make ice cream? What is an astronauts favorite meal of the day? What do you call a group of disorganized cats? She has lost all her matches!". As they do, they are passed by a wiser, older fish coming the other way. Diddly-squats. Here, I will give you an example, do you own a weed Wacker? Jim said. However, one smart flight attendant had an idea. I aint never seen nuthinlike that in my entire life, I aint got no idear what it is.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-netboard-1','ezslot_22',625,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-netboard-1-0'); While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. Because of all the sand which is there! It needed a root canal. "Me: "A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead, I can't take that chance. Why are the Irish so wealthy? An hour passed, two hours passed. These jokes may be corny, but that doesn't mean they won't make you laugh. Moo-Years Day! Secondhand stores. What do sea monsters eat? "Me: "Ship her home. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. "The line in front of the Kremlin is twice as long as this one", A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. The best of thymes, the worst of thymes. A pouch potato. I excel at sleeping. I can even do it with my eyes closed. Alabamait has four As and one B! What is the tallest building in the entire world? The big moron fell off. A fence. It was below sea level. What has more lives than a cat? Whats an avocados favorite kind of music? Why were the fishs grades so bad? 278. Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal to someone else, will receive unlimited free liquor for the duration of the flight!". 218. "The boy looked at her and replied, "Up until now, everything has been satisfactory.". The junk food of the comedy world, you can never have just one. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder.". Theyre buoy-ant. Why shouldn't you trust atoms? 78. 280. If she wasnt good enough for her own family, then she isnt good enough for ours.. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? I hope they will think they are seriously funny jokes! ", Once during an adventure, a farmer named Bryan Clay stumbled into a cave and found a magic lamp. Why did the alien go to the doctor? 297. Now I know I can handle the bad news.